I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
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