Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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