you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
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