I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Randomize
