let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
