I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
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It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
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I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?