Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
