I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
soo... how was my night?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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