We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
