I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
