Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
