I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
My life is pants optional.
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