I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
