I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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