does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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