i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
