I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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