i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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