At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
