My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
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