the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize