Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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