Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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