so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
