just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
