There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
