: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
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When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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