The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
