you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize