found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
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