Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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