I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
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