Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
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drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
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i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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