She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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