she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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