Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
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