And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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