You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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