Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
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