Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
