Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize