Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
