Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
