She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
