He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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