I'm drive I can fine osifer
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
