I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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