My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
