your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
