I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
