and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
