the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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