The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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