i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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