You can't motorboat a personality
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
