are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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