I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
