You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Randomize
