the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Randomize
