I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
