Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Randomize
