i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
