She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
you win again, gameday.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
