I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
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