if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
